Since ancient times, when the Egyptians positively worshiped cats, felines have known how to captivate the hearts of the humans who own them. What is their secret? Passed down from generation to generation, these Rules will insure that a cat gets respect & dignity . . . while reducing humans to grinning foolishly & cooing, "Isn't kitty cute!" even when the cat is clawing the sofa or knocking over a houseplant. With the Rules, cats have been able to dominate humans with little more than a flick of the tail, a restrained purr, & a poignant meow. And now humans can read & enjoy these simple guidelines. A delightful parody -- & the rest hilariously funny truth.